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Submitted by DakotaLegal on
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Submitted by DakotaLegal on
On paper, there’s an increasing chance that a father can actually have full custody. There used to be a legal rule that favored a mother for custody. That rule was called the Tender Years doctrine and was common in most states. Now, most states have shifted over to favoring what the parents can work out, so long as it’s “in the best interests” of your child. And in more and more cases, especially for young kids, courts do now tend to favor same-sex placements. If all other factors are equal, this may be the deciding factor. In fact, though, there are types of custody in Texas. What’s favored now is the fairly new idea of “co-parenting” (or what I like to call co=parenting). https:// www.oag. state.tx.us/ag_ publications/pdfs/coparenting.pdf
By itself, just being busy (school and full time work) won’t mean someone will not be able to have full custody. In fact, parents are encouraged to improve their financial ability to care for a child, and education may be part of that process. Having said that, there are several basic steps to help explain why you are the better parent for receiving full custody. A court will award custody, but will weigh out which parent is most likely to foster a good relationship with the other parent. How these “steps” apply overall, in your case, will usually settle the question. Keep in mind, then, that a custody award is not about tearing down the other person’s parenting ability, but showing that overall one parent is the better home. This does not mean you “roll over” and don’t speak up for yourself. It also may mean that you honestly show what serious risks would exist to the child, if placed with the other parent (such as violence or drug use). http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/documents/Child_Protection/Practice_Guide/Section_6_Evidence/Evidence.pdf.
Evidence: You’ll b able to use evidence that shows the amount of time and support you give, to meeting the care and needs of your child. This can be receipts for clothing and food, as well as testimony of what you do for recreation. If, as you suggest, much of these duties now fall on you due to the mother’s heavy work schedule, then this may weigh in your favor. But always remember, it’s a balance of interests…be willing to admit where your ex-spouse does well. Overall, Texas family law courts work hard to emphasize positive relationships, keeping the focus on kids. Here’s a place to see how the family court operates and what they do: http://www.hba.org/folder-services/pdfs/Family-English.pdf.By having the same kind of parent-centered attitude (which often means accurately emphasizing your history of commitment to having been the primary parenting model), it’s no coincidence that being awarded (not “winning”) custody is more likely.
There have been complaints (especially from fathers) that many parents seek to create false allegations of abuse to win custody. You should consider this possibility, defensively, and be sure to have medical, personal and professional evidence that your child is healthy and safe in your care.
The Child’s Choice? If the parents don’t agree about where the child should live, most of the time, there will be an expert who will look at the respective homes and parenting skills. They’ll watch interactions between your child and both of you. Most courts won’t ask a child under the age of 12 what their preference is. There are many reasons for this, and it’s simply too stressful on the child. One thing to always avoid is any sense of pressuring the child or involving them in the custody dispute itself. As a rule of thumb, the person who has spent the past several years providing the bulk of the care will probably be awarded custody. This presumes that care has been positive for the child, and gave the child a sense of security that should not be disturbed.
Having said that, there’s also a reality about the time between parental separation, filing for custody, and a custody decision. A court will try (and it can be very hard) to make the placement a stable situation until a final decision. Often, this first “temporary” decision ends up being fairly close in shape to the final decision. In other words, stability in a positive setting is very much what the judge will try to find, from start to finish. http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/probono/childcustody/judges_guide.pdf.
On paper, there’s an increasing chance that a father can actually have full custody. There used to be a legal rule that favored a mother for custody. That rule was called the Tender Years doctrine and was common in most states. Now, most states have shifted over to favoring what the parents can work out, so long as it’s “in the best interests” of your child. And in more and more cases, especially for young kids, courts do now tend to favor same-sex placements. If all other factors are equal, this may be the deciding factor. In fact, though, there are types of custody in Texas. What’s favored now is the fairly new idea of “co-parenting” (or what I like to call co=parenting). https:// www.oag. state.tx.us/ag_ publications/pdfs/coparenting.pdf
By itself, just being busy (school and full time work) won’t mean someone will not be able to have full custody. In fact, parents are encouraged to improve their financial ability to care for a child, and education may be part of that process. Having said that, there are several basic steps to help explain why you are the better parent for receiving full custody. A court will award custody, but will weigh out which parent is most likely to foster a good relationship with the other parent. How these “steps” apply overall, in your case, will usually settle the question. Keep in mind, then, that a custody award is not about tearing down the other person’s parenting ability, but showing that overall one parent is the better home. This does not mean you “roll over” and don’t speak up for yourself. It also may mean that you honestly show what serious risks would exist to the child, if placed with the other parent (such as violence or drug use). http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/documents/Child_Protection/Practice_Guide/Section_6_Evidence/Evidence.pdf.
Evidence: You’ll b able to use evidence that shows the amount of time and support you give, to meeting the care and needs of your child. This can be receipts for clothing and food, as well as testimony of what you do for recreation. If, as you suggest, much of these duties now fall on you due to the mother’s heavy work schedule, then this may weigh in your favor. But always remember, it’s a balance of interests…be willing to admit where your ex-spouse does well. Overall, Texas family law courts work hard to emphasize positive relationships, keeping the focus on kids. Here’s a place to see how the family court operates and what they do: http://www.hba.org/folder-services/pdfs/Family-English.pdf.By having the same kind of parent-centered attitude (which often means accurately emphasizing your history of commitment to having been the primary parenting model), it’s no coincidence that being awarded (not “winning”) custody is more likely.
There have been complaints (especially from fathers) that many parents seek to create false allegations of abuse to win custody. You should consider this possibility, defensively, and be sure to have medical, personal and professional evidence that your child is healthy and safe in your care.
The Child’s Choice? If the parents don’t agree about where the child should live, most of the time, there will be an expert who will look at the respective homes and parenting skills. They’ll watch interactions between your child and both of you. Most courts won’t ask a child under the age of 12 what their preference is. There are many reasons for this, and it’s simply too stressful on the child. One thing to always avoid is any sense of pressuring the child or involving them in the custody dispute itself. As a rule of thumb, the person who has spent the past several years providing the bulk of the care will probably be awarded custody. This presumes that care has been positive for the child, and gave the child a sense of security that should not be disturbed.
Having said that, there’s also a reality about the time between parental separation, filing for custody, and a custody decision. A court will try (and it can be very hard) to make the placement a stable situation until a final decision. Often, this first “temporary” decision ends up being fairly close in shape to the final decision. In other words, stability in a positive setting is very much what the judge will try to find, from start to finish. http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/probono/childcustody/judges_guide.pdf.