My son who is 17 and his ex girlfriend also 17 have a son and she refuse to let him see his son. Can you help him? ...

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My son who is 17 and his ex girlfriend also 17 have a son and she refuse to let him see his son. Can you help him?

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DakotaLegal's picture

It is very important for your

It is very important for your son to assert his rights to see his child, soon: if he doesn’t make a good faith effort to do that---to try and reasonably meet his responsibilities---then it can have very serious results. His girlfriend may claim that he had abandoned any rights. To begin with, you need to know if the baby is being properly cared for, or is in any danger. Anyone has a right to report any suspected danger to a child to Protective Services. But never exaggerate a risk, or it will come back on your son’s claim to be looking out for the child.

You or your son can call Protective Services, explain the situation, and ask if they can help. It’s not uncommon for one parent, who wants to stop contact by the other parent, to claim a fear of abuse. This is especially true if there has been any record (such as involving the police) of past violence by either parent. If there has been any claim of violence against your son, have him attend an anger management workshop. At any rate, also have him attend a parenting class to help prove his interest in being the best dad he can.

It’s also not clear if your son or his ex-girlfriend are emancipated minors? In Washington State, this is usually done by going to court. But being an emancipated minor also means your son may be liable for child support. You should get a packet on what it means for your son to be an emancipated minor, and the duties that go with it.

Local domestic violence shelters sometimes help people to talk together and develop what’s called a parenting plan or agreement. This plan is also available from the local court when you file for custody, and you and your son can also ask for a waiver of any court fees to start the process of arranging custody in court. Washington State actually prefers to have “joint” custody, so that is good for your son…if he starts the process soon.

Even if the mother says she will then allow visits, continue with a court process: you are always better having a third party (such as a court) put something in writing. Within a few months, you will get a mediator appointed to help discuss the case. The sooner you do that, the better.

You and your son should each keep notes about how often your son calls or actually has seen the baby. What has he bought the baby: clothes, gifts, diapers? Keep the receipts. Write down if the mother is keeping the baby from him, and what days. Keep in mind, though, that courts will really focus on what's best for the child. Do not get caught up in re-hashing what’s wrong with the mom.Your son may not get equal custody at first, but as he shows he is able to care for the child, his time can be increased, by going back into mediation or even to the court.

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DakotaLegal's picture

It is very important for your

It is very important for your son to assert his rights to see his child, soon: if he doesn’t make a good faith effort to do that---to try and reasonably meet his responsibilities---then it can have very serious results. His girlfriend may claim that he had abandoned any rights. To begin with, you need to know if the baby is being properly cared for, or is in any danger. Anyone has a right to report any suspected danger to a child to Protective Services. But never exaggerate a risk, or it will come back on your son’s claim to be looking out for the child.

You or your son can call Protective Services, explain the situation, and ask if they can help. It’s not uncommon for one parent, who wants to stop contact by the other parent, to claim a fear of abuse. This is especially true if there has been any record (such as involving the police) of past violence by either parent. If there has been any claim of violence against your son, have him attend an anger management workshop. At any rate, also have him attend a parenting class to help prove his interest in being the best dad he can.

It’s also not clear if your son or his ex-girlfriend are emancipated minors? In Washington State, this is usually done by going to court. But being an emancipated minor also means your son may be liable for child support. You should get a packet on what it means for your son to be an emancipated minor, and the duties that go with it.

Local domestic violence shelters sometimes help people to talk together and develop what’s called a parenting plan or agreement. This plan is also available from the local court when you file for custody, and you and your son can also ask for a waiver of any court fees to start the process of arranging custody in court. Washington State actually prefers to have “joint” custody, so that is good for your son…if he starts the process soon.

Even if the mother says she will then allow visits, continue with a court process: you are always better having a third party (such as a court) put something in writing. Within a few months, you will get a mediator appointed to help discuss the case. The sooner you do that, the better.

You and your son should each keep notes about how often your son calls or actually has seen the baby. What has he bought the baby: clothes, gifts, diapers? Keep the receipts. Write down if the mother is keeping the baby from him, and what days. Keep in mind, though, that courts will really focus on what's best for the child. Do not get caught up in re-hashing what’s wrong with the mom.Your son may not get equal custody at first, but as he shows he is able to care for the child, his time can be increased, by going back into mediation or even to the court.