I am a victim of domestic violence. There was a protective order on my husband until last week. I have been trying to get a PO for the past week as he has been threatening me, following me,even tried to get to me while I was inside a locked car. Yest ...

Submitted by Solange on

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Question: 

I am a victim of domestic violence. There was a protective order on my husband until last week. I have been trying to get a PO for the past week as he has been threatening me, following me,even tried to get to me while I was inside a locked car. Yesterday he stole my sons phone, and busted my sons lip.we called the police, who allowed my husband to enter the home. My husband began to verbally abuse my son, and I giot between them. I reached up and placed my hand close to my husbands mouth,when he got in my face. I reached and took hold of my husbands lip. He yelled to the police that I had accusted him, and the police arrested me. I have NEVER been arrested before,and was released. But the summons states Class 1 misdemeanor. What are my options?

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DakotaLegal's picture

There are several important

Submitted by DakotaLegal on

There are several important things to do immediately, protecting both your rights and your son’s. But nothing may be more important than getting the police to do their jobs, to protect your family. So as we look at what seem to be several instances of violating your rights, please keep in mind how the “system” may view this matter: judges and the police very often lump all these problems together. I’m not saying this attitude is right, but it can be important, as you address resistance you may face. So, for example, it’s not clear if you are going through any type of divorce, separation, or even custody battle. I doubt custody is an issue, based on the accusation of his assaulting your son.
 
If you are involved in any of these legal processes, a judge and police may wrongly lump the matters together as a “domestic” problem, and think the divorce is the answer to the abuse. In reality, it seems you have a bigger problem than a garden-variety divorce. Let’s see if the police can be open to understanding these more dangerous problems.
 
 


  • Your Rights To Legal Assistance

 
I hope you’ve already found valuable help from the network of abuse shelters. If not, they not only can give help to enforce a TRO, but also to check about police involvement and protection for your child and property. http://www.vsd valliance.org/secGet Help/Direct ory%20of%20 Services/ directoryofsevices.html.
 
Depending on your income, you may be entitled to low-cost or free help. Here is a resource for help in a civil, as opposed to a criminal, matter: http://www.valegalaid.org/. Check how much of what you can do might be done by yourself, from asking for an emergency order or a new protective order. Here’s a self-help web site… http://www. courts.state.va.us/forms/district/jdr.html. You can see there’s a “Manual” at that site, with samples of how the forms can be used.
 
It has even happened (though it’s a hard case to win) that some abused, stalked, or assaulted spouses, after making ignored requests for help to the police, have successfully sued both the spouse or ex-partner and the police for the harm and abuse suffered, in a civil court.
 

  • Police Misconduct?

 
“Inviting” an assailant into your home needs an explanation from the police. There is also almost always a “citizen complaint” form, available so you can make a specific complaint against a police department or its officers. Here’s an example: http://www.virginiaccpa. org/. There seems to have been a possible violation of your rights to be secure in your home. Did the police ask to bring your husband in, without finding out about any orders or your wishes? In addition to asking shelter legal staff, you may even have a civil case for false arrest. Try talking with a criminal law expert through the Virginia Bar referral system: be sure to ask for a free consultation…http://www.vsb.org/vlrs/.
 
 

  • The Misdemeanor

 
From what you describe, the police may have simply arrested you, but then not later charged you. You have described several instances of being unlawfully harmed by your husband. In fact, you have repeatedly been victimized by the people charged with helping you. You may need a local contact for the victims’ assistance and see if they are willing to help… http://www.vadoc.state.va.us/forms/victim-brochure.pdf and (for example) or Arlington’s CV unit http://www.arlingtonpd.org/index.asp?nextpg=va.htm.
 
In the future, you may also want to consider how to remove the record of that arrest, through the process of expungement. http://www.valegalaid.org/files/E095B726-FCD8-81C1-17DC-A16C7ED73FFF/attachments/8DBACF4D-369E-4349-AF5F-4ED2D9A99435/expungement.pdf.

All Comments

DakotaLegal's picture

There are several important

Submitted by DakotaLegal on

There are several important things to do immediately, protecting both your rights and your son’s. But nothing may be more important than getting the police to do their jobs, to protect your family. So as we look at what seem to be several instances of violating your rights, please keep in mind how the “system” may view this matter: judges and the police very often lump all these problems together. I’m not saying this attitude is right, but it can be important, as you address resistance you may face. So, for example, it’s not clear if you are going through any type of divorce, separation, or even custody battle. I doubt custody is an issue, based on the accusation of his assaulting your son.
 
If you are involved in any of these legal processes, a judge and police may wrongly lump the matters together as a “domestic” problem, and think the divorce is the answer to the abuse. In reality, it seems you have a bigger problem than a garden-variety divorce. Let’s see if the police can be open to understanding these more dangerous problems.
 
 


  • Your Rights To Legal Assistance

 
I hope you’ve already found valuable help from the network of abuse shelters. If not, they not only can give help to enforce a TRO, but also to check about police involvement and protection for your child and property. http://www.vsd valliance.org/secGet Help/Direct ory%20of%20 Services/ directoryofsevices.html.
 
Depending on your income, you may be entitled to low-cost or free help. Here is a resource for help in a civil, as opposed to a criminal, matter: http://www.valegalaid.org/. Check how much of what you can do might be done by yourself, from asking for an emergency order or a new protective order. Here’s a self-help web site… http://www. courts.state.va.us/forms/district/jdr.html. You can see there’s a “Manual” at that site, with samples of how the forms can be used.
 
It has even happened (though it’s a hard case to win) that some abused, stalked, or assaulted spouses, after making ignored requests for help to the police, have successfully sued both the spouse or ex-partner and the police for the harm and abuse suffered, in a civil court.
 

  • Police Misconduct?

 
“Inviting” an assailant into your home needs an explanation from the police. There is also almost always a “citizen complaint” form, available so you can make a specific complaint against a police department or its officers. Here’s an example: http://www.virginiaccpa. org/. There seems to have been a possible violation of your rights to be secure in your home. Did the police ask to bring your husband in, without finding out about any orders or your wishes? In addition to asking shelter legal staff, you may even have a civil case for false arrest. Try talking with a criminal law expert through the Virginia Bar referral system: be sure to ask for a free consultation…http://www.vsb.org/vlrs/.
 
 

  • The Misdemeanor

 
From what you describe, the police may have simply arrested you, but then not later charged you. You have described several instances of being unlawfully harmed by your husband. In fact, you have repeatedly been victimized by the people charged with helping you. You may need a local contact for the victims’ assistance and see if they are willing to help… http://www.vadoc.state.va.us/forms/victim-brochure.pdf and (for example) or Arlington’s CV unit http://www.arlingtonpd.org/index.asp?nextpg=va.htm.
 
In the future, you may also want to consider how to remove the record of that arrest, through the process of expungement. http://www.valegalaid.org/files/E095B726-FCD8-81C1-17DC-A16C7ED73FFF/attachments/8DBACF4D-369E-4349-AF5F-4ED2D9A99435/expungement.pdf.