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Submitted by DakotaLegal on
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Submitted by DakotaLegal on
There seem to be at least three major issues here: 1. your not being arrested on a false charge, 2. the well-being of your son, and 3. how you should act right now.
1. Arrest Issues:
One problem is that you say had “a fight,” which she made worse. Were you pushing or was there ‘only’ shouting? One problem is going to be that even a shouting match can intimidate someone, and they can say they “were afraid.” In other words, your girlfriend may say that she was “defending” herself. If you’re bigger than she is, that will something you have to explain. Here’s a place to check out the definitions of “domestic assault” http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=496&state_code=FL. There’s also a link there with instructions on how you can fill out a request for an injunction against your girlfriend.
Unfortunately, you are correct about the possibility of being arrested in the coming days: just because you weren’t arrested immediately does not mean that an assistant State Attorney won’t make that decision in a matter of days: maybe even weeks. If you have any priors, it becomes even more likely you’ll be arrested. You can ask the local police what they’re doing, and if they are going to drop charges. There’s a good chance they will have sent your file on to a state’s attorney---if they have, take that as a sign an arrest is coming.
There’s also a big difference in how counties handle DV arrests…Orange is pretty strict (with almost 10,000 arrests a years) and Pinellas focused on DV involving kids, and Manatee using a lot of field investigators and counselors alongside their police. If you cannot afford it, go today to a legal clinic at the nearest law school (from Stetson in Tampa or FAMU in Central Florida:
http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/probono/lawschools/pb_student.html
AND try to get the quickest appointment with Florida legal aid or the Florida Bar’s pro Bono program… .
http://www.floridabar.org/tfb/TFBConsum.nsf/840090C16EEDAF0085256B61000928DC/A99E4C9F07844AC385256FF90073D012.
If you have little or no ready money, get hold of a free legal aid clinic immediately: do not wait another day.
Last, you talked about having a weapon. My advice is to get rid of it. You can sell it. But you will help yourself if you can show (with a receipt, fore maple) that you got rid of it. Don’t tell your girlfriend if you get rid of the handgun, because you want to start being able to show that she’s able to lie about what happened.
2. Your Son’s Well-being And Safety
One reason you might not have been arrested was because your son was there. This is only a guess, but the odds of your being arrested would have been less if your son is from another relationship than the one you are now in.
The age of your son will also have been important: was he old enough to tell the police what happened? The fact is that she may also have crossed the line and not be allowed to be around your son. If this is the fact, it will also make your own case against her stronger: just do not use your son as a way to get what you need. But you do need to stand up for his rights to keep him safe from her, too.
Finally, the best thing you can do is to either move from her or get her to move. Whose name is on the lease or who owns the home? If you own a house together, take the steps of going to a shelter (we’ll look at that in the next section) and asking for a Temporary Restraining Order/TRO. Is your son old enough to make a preference for where he wants to live? Be sure you are able to explain how you are putting him first in your decision: and it looks as though that means keeping him away from what’s going on with the girlfriend.
3. What To Do Now: Be Strong Enough To Ask For Help
Historically, battered women had few choices to get out of a dangerous home. It’s a funny thing, but now that “shelters” have grown up around the country, police have been reporting progress in preventing repeated cases of domestic assault. And with the passing years, the shelters now say that they are working hard to become more open to the fact that men are battered, too. You should get help from one… http://www.fcadv.org/centers.
Call the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-500-1119 too. The funny thing is, men are still reluctant to ask for help from domestic shelters. You have worries about your own safety as well as your son’s. Not only can a shelter help you with a restraining order against your girlfriend (to get her out of your residence), but they also have rules about who they can help. Many shelters basically end up “taking sides” in a domestic abuse case. If you get help from legal aid or a shelter, then this may stop your girlfriend from getting their help, and that is a good thing for you. At any rate, be ready to face some resistance from a shelter, since not all of them are great believers when a man says he was hit by the woman.
You need to get an attorney
Submitted by RJasondeGroot on
You need to get an attorney on your side.
If you are indigent, you must plead not guilty at the arraignment and ask for the public defender to be appointed to represent you in the matter. The arraignment will be followed by pre trials every month or so until the case is resolved or tried.
There seem to be at least three major issues here: 1. your not being arrested on a false charge, 2. the well-being of your son, and 3. how you should act right now.
1. Arrest Issues:
One problem is that you say had “a fight,” which she made worse. Were you pushing or was there ‘only’ shouting? One problem is going to be that even a shouting match can intimidate someone, and they can say they “were afraid.” In other words, your girlfriend may say that she was “defending” herself. If you’re bigger than she is, that will something you have to explain. Here’s a place to check out the definitions of “domestic assault” http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=496&state_code=FL. There’s also a link there with instructions on how you can fill out a request for an injunction against your girlfriend.
Unfortunately, you are correct about the possibility of being arrested in the coming days: just because you weren’t arrested immediately does not mean that an assistant State Attorney won’t make that decision in a matter of days: maybe even weeks. If you have any priors, it becomes even more likely you’ll be arrested. You can ask the local police what they’re doing, and if they are going to drop charges. There’s a good chance they will have sent your file on to a state’s attorney---if they have, take that as a sign an arrest is coming.
There’s also a big difference in how counties handle DV arrests…Orange is pretty strict (with almost 10,000 arrests a years) and Pinellas focused on DV involving kids, and Manatee using a lot of field investigators and counselors alongside their police. If you cannot afford it, go today to a legal clinic at the nearest law school (from Stetson in Tampa or FAMU in Central Florida:
http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/probono/lawschools/pb_student.html
AND try to get the quickest appointment with Florida legal aid or the Florida Bar’s pro Bono program… .
http://www.floridabar.org/tfb/TFBConsum.nsf/840090C16EEDAF0085256B61000928DC/A99E4C9F07844AC385256FF90073D012.
If you have little or no ready money, get hold of a free legal aid clinic immediately: do not wait another day.
Last, you talked about having a weapon. My advice is to get rid of it. You can sell it. But you will help yourself if you can show (with a receipt, fore maple) that you got rid of it. Don’t tell your girlfriend if you get rid of the handgun, because you want to start being able to show that she’s able to lie about what happened.
2. Your Son’s Well-being And Safety
One reason you might not have been arrested was because your son was there. This is only a guess, but the odds of your being arrested would have been less if your son is from another relationship than the one you are now in.
The age of your son will also have been important: was he old enough to tell the police what happened? The fact is that she may also have crossed the line and not be allowed to be around your son. If this is the fact, it will also make your own case against her stronger: just do not use your son as a way to get what you need. But you do need to stand up for his rights to keep him safe from her, too.
Finally, the best thing you can do is to either move from her or get her to move. Whose name is on the lease or who owns the home? If you own a house together, take the steps of going to a shelter (we’ll look at that in the next section) and asking for a Temporary Restraining Order/TRO. Is your son old enough to make a preference for where he wants to live? Be sure you are able to explain how you are putting him first in your decision: and it looks as though that means keeping him away from what’s going on with the girlfriend.
3. What To Do Now: Be Strong Enough To Ask For Help
Historically, battered women had few choices to get out of a dangerous home. It’s a funny thing, but now that “shelters” have grown up around the country, police have been reporting progress in preventing repeated cases of domestic assault. And with the passing years, the shelters now say that they are working hard to become more open to the fact that men are battered, too. You should get help from one… http://www.fcadv.org/centers.
Call the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-500-1119 too. The funny thing is, men are still reluctant to ask for help from domestic shelters. You have worries about your own safety as well as your son’s. Not only can a shelter help you with a restraining order against your girlfriend (to get her out of your residence), but they also have rules about who they can help. Many shelters basically end up “taking sides” in a domestic abuse case. If you get help from legal aid or a shelter, then this may stop your girlfriend from getting their help, and that is a good thing for you. At any rate, be ready to face some resistance from a shelter, since not all of them are great believers when a man says he was hit by the woman.