Domestic violence is a particularly pervasive problem because it can go on regularly within the four walls of the home, which is supposed to be a safe haven from all the dangers of the outside world.  Each state has its own remedies and methods for obtaining a solution; however there is a similar general process that most states follow when dealing with domestic violence.

Restraining and Protective Orders

If you are the victim of domestic violence, your state will generally provide you with a restraining or protective order of some kind.  The laws establish rules concerning who may file for an order and when that order will be enforced.  However, all statutes for protective orders provide some regulation to enforce that the alleged abuser stay away from the victim.  Generally, they will also include a directive that the alleged abuser stay away from the victim’s workplace or school as well.  You can also ask the court to provide the ruling that prohibition of all contact be included within the order.

If you have children with the abuser, you may make a request for support payments from the abuser for the duration of the order.  This may be done concurrently with a provision that prevents the abuser from contacting or being in the same physical area as the child.  The alleged abuser will likely also be forced to stay away from the child’s doctor, day care center, and school.  If the child is old enough to work, the alleged abuser will not be allowed at the child’s place of employment either.  On rare occasions, the alleged abuser will be granted temporary visitation with the child if he or she is the legal parent. You can ask the court to make this provision include a stipulation that the visitation be supervised.  Some states even provide a regulation that the alleged abuser stay away from family pets so as to prevent intimidation through their harm. 

A victim of domestic violence may also be granted temporary spousal support, or the alleged abuser may be ordered to continue making mortgage payments, even if he or she has been ordered to leave the home.  Another common provision is that the abuser turn over any guns and ammunition that he or she may have.  

If you are granted an order, you should deliver a copy to every local police station, introduce yourself, and make the police aware of the situation.  This will put them on notice so that if the alleged abuser violates the no contact provisions of the order, you can call the station, and the police will enforce the order.  If the alleged abuser violates a payment provision, which is harder for the police to enforce, then you will have to file a motion for contempt, which explains how the abuser violated the order.  If you are granted the motion, then the penalty will likely be either a fine, jail time, or both.

Finding Domestic Violence Resources

The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-799-7233 and is operational 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and in more than 100 languages.  It can help you find nearby domestic violence shelters, emergency shelters, legal help, and social service programs.

The Feminist Majority Foundation has put together a database of national organizations that can help victims of domestic violence get relief from their abuser. 

Individual state resources can be found here.